United For Terror:

[N.B.: The person who has written this text seems to be mentally deranged, kindly read with caution!]

OK the Mumbai attacks have at least brought unity in our country’s political parties both seem to be United FOR Terror, each issuing a new message to terrorists and Pakistan with each passing day. Here is a small compilation of these statements in form of open one-sided contract:

1. The UPA led by Congress:

1. Terrorists may attack at will, we will ensure that all our administrative and intelligence machinery will sleep, to allow them safe passage.

2. Pakistan’s foreign ministry need not worry, we will ourselves create rift between the Hindu and Muslim communities, so that our citizens may not ask hard questions from you.

3. We promise that the changes in our administrative system will be cursory, the depths where the real rot is will be left untouched.

4. We are a secular party but behind the doors we believe in the concept of ‘Transmigration of Souls’ (mentioned in Gita) and we have applied it in real life. Our Real Life Gods, our leaders ensure that whoever loses his seat is fixed at a new place (seat) as soon as possible. The Transmigration is based on loyalty to ‘The Family’.

2. The NDA led by BJP:

1. Attacks would not be tolerated especially if they are on politicians, but we promise to fulfill all the demands in cases of kidnapping and abduction.

2. Pakistan’s foreign ministry must be prepared for some random acts like we will fight while having summits, shout ‘Hot Pursuits’ and ‘Aar Paar Ki Ladaayi’ but sit over our arses, so that the confusion persist for long and we can take any stand depending on the situation.

3. We promise far reaching changes, we will make stringent laws but won’t change the system so that we can use them for our benefit, we will further polarize and crystallize prejudices against Muslims in Hindus. We will ensure the adrenaline rush so that half of people die of heart attack and the rest fighting in riots.

4. As you know our party is based on Hindu ideology, our leaders ride ‘Rathas’ (Chariots), we firmly believe in the concept of Transmigration of Souls and Seats. The Transmigration is based on person’s utility, power and money, either the profiles are changed from high to low, in some rare cases the person is kicked out from the party.

3. Hearing that we were doing a story on Terrorism (which is selling like hot cakes nowadays), many other important politicians contacted us, here is a compilation of what they have to say:

1. We promise to disrespect the country.

2. We promise to disrespect its martyrs and true leaders.

3. We promise to disrespect its people as and when possible, in as many ways possible.

4. We promise to create hullabaloo during election days and first few days of any crisis, rest of the days we will do what we are best at doing. (details of this work have to be filled by the reader!)

So friends this is a small compilation of our political parties’ stand on our war on terror where we are not united against terror but UNITED FOR TERROR, take it in writing the next attack is very near.

JAI HIND!

[P.S.: KINDLY TAKE THE ARTICLE IN THE WAY IT IS INTENDED, FOREIGN FRIENDS BEWARE!]

[Influenced by successive statements of politicians: Vilasrao Deshmukh, R.R. Patil, V.S. Achutyanandan, Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi, A.R. Antulay, Jaswant Singh, Digvijay Singh, and others.]

REMEMBERING MR. BANTADHAAR:

I just laughed at the Congress Party and bowed before the foresight of our previous Chief Minister Mr. Digvijay Singh, who was christened Mr. Bantadhaar by the BJP.

After the 2003 elections he took a vow of not participating in active (*state) politics in Madhya Pradesh. What sharp intelligence he has, that he knew how much damage he has done and how much time will be required to nullify it, and the state congress leaders were unnecessarily running from pillar to post in these elections, ignoring their own leader’s view on the matter.

(* The original vow was ‘sanyaas’ from politics for 10 years, then it became active politics, finally it became active state politics, if I remember correctly!)

ANYTHING GREATER THAN ZERO. . .

The reelection of Shivraj Singh Chauhan and Raman Singh doesn’t come as a surprise to me. The reason is very simple, just recall the definition of positive numbers you will know it. The (so-called) Social Engineer of MP, previous CM, Mr. Digvijay Singh and his government left the state’s development hovering positively on the negative side. This was when MP and Chhattisgarh were one state.

The benchmark set for 2003 elections for development was zero, so the voter voted them (Congress) out. Now in 2008, the benchmark was anything greater than zero, which the BJP governments of both the states achieved easily. The real test of BJP’s leadership will be in the next elections where their two performances with be compared.

I also remember the advertising campaign of BJP when they demanded ‘hissab’ from the Congress party for what they have done in past 50 years; the congress could not cite any positive contributions. They chose not to answer BJP and took the line of development in the nation under the leadership of Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi, but for that too they cited statistics from various government reports that are too boring to read and comprehend, e.g. the UPA government’s aid to MP increased from Rs. 300 crores in 2003-04 to Rs. 2200 crore in 2007-08. What should we make of this statement?

To put it simply, it was evident from the beginning that Congress is not at all serious about these elections, so voters (I for one) stopped paying attention to what they have to say. From this we can conclude that a similar line of advertising will be done by the BJP in the Lok Sabha Elections where OFFENCE WILL BE THE BEST FORM OF DEFENCE.